{ Wyatt Brock Knapp }

I'm honestly not sure where to begin the story of my little man arriving into the world but I suppose anywhere will do. Sunday night I went to bed around 10:00 pm. I woke up at 1:15 am to use the restroom. Around 3:10 am I felt a couple little leaks and thought, "um...that's not normal." So I got up, went to the restroom again and when I went to stand up a couple little leaks came again and my stomach got extremely tight all of a sudden. Almost like an intense Braxton Hick's contraction so not painful at all really, just very uncomfortable. Then every time I leaked a little my stomach would get just as hard. This continued to happen roughly about every 5 minutes. 5 minutes! That's when the thought, "This is it!" popped into my mind. I suddenly got very excited and nervous all at the same time but thought to myself, "But it doesn't hurt?" So I was a little confused. "Is my water really breaking?" I basically questioned everything 100+ times and wondered what I should probably do. I paced around the house for a few minutes while the little leaks kept on coming. I even put some makeup on and straightened my hair a little bit then proceeded to make sure I had everything in my hospital bag just in case. Finally I call my Dr. and he says, "It's time to have a baby. Head to the hospital and I'll call to tell them you're on your way." Ahh...yep this is it! I distinctly remember taking a deep deep breath after that phone call. Around 4:00 am Jordan woke up to me moving around the house and asked, "What are you doing?" I told him, "I think we need to go to the hospital." He says, "What? Why?" I begin to tell him about the little leaks that have been coming for almost the last hour, told him Dr. Leavitt said to head into the hospital, and in a very surprised, yet panicked voice Jordan says, "Really? Are you sure?" Then for the next like 2 hours I'm trying to convince him that yes, this baby is coming and we need to leave for the hospital. He honestly couldn't believe it and kept asking, "Really? Are you sure? You seem too calm and not in any pain to be in labor. Are you sure?" And he was right. I was very calm the entire morning. I think if I would have been in any kind of pain I would have been in more of a panicky type of status but I was completely calm and kept on making sure I had everything ready. Once Jordan got up, and asked once again, "Really? Are you sure?," he says, "I'm freakin' out!" I let out a little laugh and ask, "Are ya? Why are you freaking out? Is it because it's time to have a baby? He says, "Ya and our house isn't ready to bring a baby home to yet?" Ha ha...so what do we do for almost the next 2 hours? Clean the house of course! Looking back now I think to myself, "Wow we really just cleaned the house instead of heading straight into the hospital. Wow." 

We finally leave the house at 6:20 am and head into Mountain View Hospital in Idaho Falls. We got 1/4 mile away from the house when Jordan asks, "You want me to speed?" Ha...that made me laugh a bit and I tell him, "Not yet." We get to MVH a little after 7:00 am, and right as I was walking up to the nurses station I hear them say, "I don't know. Dr. Leavitt said she was on her way." Ha ha...ya Dr. Leavitt probably called almost 3 hours ago telling them I was on my way. Oops! I get checked into a room, two minutes later my mom arrives, and a nurse comes in to check my cervix and test to see if the leaking is amniotic fluid. I lay there for a few minutes when the nurse comes back and says, "It's definitely amniotic fluid you're leaking. Let's get you ready with your IV." She switches with the charge nurse who starts my IV with some fluids and pitocin to speed things up a bit. I was a little hesitant about the pitocin because so many women had told me that it made them sick but it luckily it didn't make me sick at all and definitely sped things up. 

I had decided earlier on that I wasn't going to for sure plan on getting an epidural but I wasn't against getting one either. I was basically wanting to see how things progressed then go from there. Well after my nurse increased the pitocin 3 times I had only gone from a 3 to a 4 and by then my contractions were getting pretty painful to the point that after each contraction my hands would shake as I pried them off of the rails of the bed. Jordan was amazing helping to push on my knees every 2-3 minutes to help relieve some of the pain. After awhile it just wasn't helping enough so I asked my nurse about some IV medicine. She gave that to me which actually did help some but shortly after that the anesthesiologist and Dr. Leavitt came back into the room to check on me at which point I asked for the epidural. I'm sure glad the anesthesiologist had already gone over all the paperwork and consent forms with me. The anesthesiologist (who was great on a medical level as well as a caring & compassionate level) gave me the epidural which started to take affect within 10 minutes and man was I grateful for modern medicine at that point. It was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!!! I think I got the epidural around 3:00 pm and from 3:00-3:30 pm I had progressed from a 4 to a 6! At that point I had wished I had gotten the epidural even earlier. I was just not able to relax at all before I got it. Jordan, my mom, and Jordan's mom would watch the monitors and ask me if I could feel that and I'd say, "Feel what?" Couldn't feel a single contraction. Awesome! Jordan was pretty amazed at that and how whenever I had a contraction the baby's heart rate would increase. Jordan actually watched all the monitors like a hawk. Looking out for me while already being the concerned parent and all : ) Shortly after I had gotten to a 6 the nurse said the baby had a couple late D-cells, had me turn onto my side and put on some oxygen. Honestly I know what late D-cells mean but at the time I was clearly not in the right frame of mind to remember. Something I'm actually grateful for because if I had recalled what that meant at the time I probably would have panicked a little. Dr. Leavitt came in again, checked my cervix and said I was at a 9! Within minutes the nurse checked me again and said I was complete and I could possibly start to try and push soon. I turn to Jordan and he says, "I'm freakin' out." It kinda made me laugh a little. The nurse called Dr. Leavitt, came back into the room and said it was time to push a little. I pushed a few times and the nurse said she could see a little of his head. Dr. Leavitt came back into the room, got gowned up then turned to Jordan and started to help him get gowned up as well. He even showed Jordan the best "catchers" stance : ) Then it was go time and the pushing began. I think I had to push at least 5 times with each time having 3-4 pushes included. After the first couple sets I could actually feel my sweet boy's head with my hand. That was pretty amazing just by itself. At one point Dr. Leavitt said that he was going to give me a small episiotomy because it was looking like I was going to tear. He told Jordan not to watch that part but Jordan said it wasn't very long. I wasn't really surprised. Partly because my mom had to have one with all three of her kids. Honestly by the third or fourth push at the end of every set of pushes I didn't know if I could muster up the strength to get through that last push. Somehow, whether it was just the adrenaline, the excitement and anxiousness of finally holding my baby, or all the encouragement from the medical staff and my amazing hubby but my sweet boy was finally in my arms.

seeing my precious boy for the first time

practicing his "catch"

my dad and Nathan waiting

Kelly waiting

Macie waiting

Dustin waiting...he found a nice comfy chair far away in the hall : )

Kendra waiting

there's my 6 lb. 13 oz baby boy!

 looks like one proud daddy to me : )

love this picture too!

Nathan wanted to peek around the curtain so bad to watch but couldn't bring himself to do it, so instead he peeks around the front of the curtain just as Jordan set Wyatt on my chest. Kelly told me later that Nathan got pretty emotional. I could see in his eyes afterwards that he'd been crying and kept grabbing more tissues but to be honest I was pretty surprised by it. Nathan isn't the kind of kid to really show any kind of emotion so seeing how much this touched him actually meant a great deal to me.

 

Grandma DeNise holding her very first grandchild for the first time

Uncle Nathan & Wyatt...love this picture!

 

mommy & Wyatt...this sweet boy already has my heart : )

First family photo!

first bath @ the hospital - he really didn't like it at all either

our celebratory dinner!

I'd say he's going to be a daddy's boy : )

Wyatt with his Great Grandpa James Sato

with Grandma DeNise & Great Grandpa Sato

my little family and I finally heading home!

Shortly after little Wyatt came I was able to nurse him for the first time. I now understand what many women are talking about when they say it creates a priceless bond between mother and child. For me, that was a very special moment.We stayed in the hospital until Wednesday when we all left around 12:30 pm. Since then it's been quite the rollercoaster. Wednesday morning my nurse came in and asked me when I'd like to leave. I told her we'd like to leave by noon and she said she'd start working on my discharge papers so we could do just that. Before she even left the room my eyes began to fill with tears. I went into the bathroom and just bawled. I was suddenly so scared to take this little baby home I couldn't hold it in anymore. I thought, "How am I going to be able to do this? What if I do something wrong?" I just kept saying over and over again, "Please help me. Please help me." I know a huge portion of my little meltdown was hormonal but I was so worried that I would do something wrong that anxiety completely overwhelmed me. Dr. Leavitt came in to check on us one more time then I started to get ready to leave while Jordan started to finish filling out his birth certificate paperwork.

As we were driving home I kept thinking about how exciting this new chapter in our lives is going to be. Not just exciting, but scary, happy, trying, etc. I was definitely still emotional on the way home wondering how I'm going to be able to be a decent mother to this precious little life that's come to us from Heavenly Father. I think that's a huge thing that scares me. Me not being raised in an LDS home makes me rather terrified that I simply don't have it in me to raise my sweet boy the way Heavenly Father wants him to be raised. Don't get me wrong. Meeting all his physical needs is terrifying as well. Something I think Jordan is way more worried about. But for some reason the Gospel aspect has me way way more worried. Since having this sweet boy come into my life I've definitely shed some tears. Some are tears of great joy. I had no idea I could have such an enormous amount of love for a single life until Wyatt came to us. I look at him every minute of everyday and feel I'm looking down at a piece of my heart lying right there in my arms. The lady I visit teach with told me a quote that I absolutely love and couldn't agree more with because it explains how I feel perfectly.

"The decision to have a child means to forever have your heart walking around outside your chest."

Since having Wyatt home with us we've been incredibly blessed with amazing friends and family that have come to visit and bring food. A few ladies that I serve in Young Women's with have brought us dinners and a few more have brought treats including our 1st Counselor and his wife, whom I go visiting teaching with, and our home teacher and his wife, whom I used to go visiting teaching with. Jordan and I feel so blessed to live in such a great community. A great deal of our ward has either come by or called to congratulate us and see if we need anything. There are so many good people in this community I'm constantly in awe over it.

Great Grandma and Grandpa Knapp came by and loved on Wyatt for awhile a few days ago. Of course Jordan's family has been out. They're pretty much ecstatic that Wyatt is finally here. Jordan's good friend Tom and his wife Briana came to visit and brought some tasty muffins. And I've been lucky enough to have my mom basically come out whenever I need her along with getting anything I may need and doing anything around the house that I'd like to get done. Jordan is pretty concerned about me taking it easy for awhile. It's actually really touching. He's constantly telling me that I should just go lay down and that the only thing that I need to worry about is taking care of Wyatt (since he can't feed him and all). Especially after his grandma told him how she almost bled to death after having her first baby from overdoing it. He's been quite the hubby doing so much around the house since we brought Wyatt home. Everything he's always done around the house on top of almost everything I usually do. I've been excited to see what kind of a bond Jordan would start to form with Wyatt. I haven't had a doubt in my mind that he'll be an amazing daddy to our children. Seeing how great he is with Macie solidified that long ago. He doesn't like to be apart from him almost as much as I do : ) I was one lucky girl having Jordan stumble into my old apartment 6 years ago! I wonder if Wyatt knows how lucky he is to have such a great daddy? I know I'm the luckiest girl in the world to have such a caring, warm-hearted hubby along with the sweetest little boy anyone could ask for. Something I cannot thank Heavenly Father enough for.